Last night I went the Foster-to-Adopt Informational Meeting.  That’s step one.  I knew most of the information from my days as a child abuse prosecutor.  However, I realized two things.

First, I’m going to have to let go of some of my contempt for CPS which is ingrained and years in the making.  I dealt with CPS as a child abuse prosecutor and as a defense attorney.  I’ve seen them make a lot of really bad calls like leaving kids with parents I later proved beyond a reasonable doubt were raping the kids.  However, I have to understand that there are good social workers and bad one.  There are ones who care and others who are just doing enough to collect a paycheck.  I have to understand that even the good ones are human and we all make mistakes.  I have to let people be human.

Second, I’m going to have to rely a lot on Jesus to do this.  There are three options in a program like this:  foster, foster-to-adopt, and matched adoption.  Foster is where you provide temporary safe housing that can last days, weeks, months or years and then give the child back.  Some people prefer to be foster parents and do not want to adopt.  Foster-to-adopt means that you are willing to adopt that foster child if the parents rights need to be terminated and the child becomes free for adoption.  Matched adoption means they match you with a child (usually a teenager) and you find out everything they know about the child and commit to adopt that child before you ever meet the child.  You generally cannot match adopt with a younger child because foster families get first priority in adopting them and are likely foster-to-adopt parents.  Matched adoption is for kids who were with foster parents who are unwilling to adopt.  Of these three options, foster-to-adopt still fits me best, though the fit is not perfect.  While some people get miracles and have their first placement become their forever child, generally you will be a temporary safe place for several children before one ends up free to become yours.  I just kept praying through the meeting:  “Lord, I will need your help in this.  I’m not sure I can risk my heart this much.”  Yet the alternative is to leave these kids without a safe place because there is a huge deficit in foster homes.  I can’t do that either.

Yet, the more they told us about these kids and the shortage of safe homes, the more I felt that this is absolutely the trench warfare in which I’m meant to be and in which Jesus will definitely meet anyone who enters.

This year, there are 6600 kids free for adoption in Texas alone.  There are 1100 free for adoption in DFW alone.  There are almost 4000 kids in foster care in DFW alone.  In Texas:  Houston has the most kids who need help, San Antonio has the second most, Dallas ranks third and ElPaso is fourth.  Almost fifty percent of kids needing help are Hispanic.  Despite the rumors and old wives tells, these kids are not innately bad.  Most of these kids are not physically or mentally handicapped.  These kids are worth saving.  These kids need parents who are responsible and safe.  The State foster care motto is:

“Children Never Outgrow The Need For Parents”

It will take 3-6 months to get licensed and placement can happen anytime after that.

The ladies kept stressing that it is about the kids – not us.  (Same thing I felt the Spirit tell me at church 9 days ago.)  They said they find homes for kids – not kids for homes.  They said that kids love their parents unconditionally and always want to go back to momma.  I’ve seen that with in the victims I’ve worked with.  If that’s possible, then it is best for the child to go home once momma gets her crap together.  I heard the Spirit whisper to me:  “That is love.  Loving the children unconditionally and hoping that their parents do right so that you can let the children go back.  That is love.”  My unholy response was that that is simply too much to ask and I’m pretty sure I cannot love that much.  Then I started praying for God to help me love that much.  I literally prayed throughout the meeting.

They stressed the need to have a support system around you.  No one can do this alone.

Over and over the Bible tells us how to treat orphans.  Even though these children have parents, when they come into foster care the parents are unfit enough that they might as well have no parents.  If the parents’ are unwilling or unable to improve, then their rights are terminated making the children orphans.  At least 41 times, orphans are mentioned in the Bible and we are commanded over and over again to help them.  I’d like to say that no matter the cost, I’m ready.  Instead, I’ll be honest and say:  I’m excited.  I feel called.  I also feel scared.

Father God, help me to be your hands, feet and heart in these lives of the child/children you will send to me.  Help my family to love them and accept them and comfort my family if/when we are called to let them go.

“Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.” – Isaiah 1:17