I grew up in a home where we couldn’t always have candy, but we could almost always have a book for a treat. So it’s no surprise to people who know me that I immediately bought five books in the week after my decision. I purchased What To Expect the First Year. It seems to be an excellent resource and very easy to read. I purchased the only baby memory book I could find on Amazon for adoptive families. It’s also wonderful. Then I bought 3 books to read to baby.
I’m certainly no expert, but in case you are looking for such things, here is this newbie’s impressions…
Beautifully illustrated and written book that answers almost every question a child might have about adoption!Excellent book and shorter than I Wished For You. It covers most of the same topics.Creepy illustrations! The story is a bit creepy too with weird people staring into an empty cradle. Returning it immediately.
Again, I’m just a new mommy-to-be, so I’m no expert. However, with 2 nieces and 2 nephews who I love more than life, I think I have some idea of what books children enjoy and what might creep them out.
After I purchased the little fairy door for the daughter I didn’t have yet and after I emailed the adoption agency on Sept 9, 2015, I went to sleep. It was almost midnight.
Little Fairy Door with Little Fairy Footprints. Normally I don’t go for silly fantasy things like this, but it’s so cute! It gobsmacked me!
At 9:15am on Sept 10, the agency called me. I was so excited! I chose a smaller Christian agency that has been in business for 25 years. The founders have six adopted children and call their family a bag of Skittles because they are from all over the world and of many different ethnicities. It was the husband who called me that morning. I told him I couldn’t talk long because I was on my way to Court. He told me to call him after Court so that we could figure out which program would best fit me. They have programs around the world and domestically.
I should pause here to tell you that I’d had my heart set on a toddler from a 3rd world nation for as long as I could remember. The only thing I cared about was that she be a girl because as much as I love little boys, I do not have a husband. I know I can teach a girl how to be a woman. I feel that whenever possible, a little boy needs a man in the home to emulate. So with the image of a 3rd world toddler in my mind…
I said, “I don’t care where my baby comes from. I just want her to come home asap!”
Cautiously he asked, “Do you care about ethnicity?”
I said, “No. I know an adopted child will not look like me. I don’t care about ethnicity because she will be mine no matter what shade her skin, eyes and hair are.”
He said, “I think you’d be perfect for our domestic cross-cultural program. There’s a lot less paperwork and a lot less travel.”
I was a bit surprised because I assumed my child would be from a 3rd world nation.
He continued, “We work with birth moms who live in abject poverty and cannot afford to feed another mouth. We also work with birth families who have already had multiple CPS interventions.”
Now he was speaking my language.
I asked if domestic adoption was more expensive than international. He said international has become just as expensive as domestic.
I said, “I open to any program. I’d like a girl. Also, I want a child 3 years old or under because they are still cuddly.”
He said, “You can choose a girl in any program. However, you will get a newborn in the domestic program.”
I almost fell down. A newborn? But they don’t sleep at night!!! Additionally, I never thought I’d be eligible to get a newborn as a single woman. I was silent for a long time. This was my first adoption-related panic attack. When I finally spoke it was in stutters that made no sense and he laughed. I told him I needed time to think and he said he thought I would be excited when the shock wore off.
He was right! I’ve already found a crib and am reading all about the first year of life.
The next shock and panic came when I saw the sheet that listed all the fees. That’s why I’m doing a Puzzle Piece fundraiser that I wrote about on 9/20 (click here to read all about it).
Adoption is expensive. Like stupid expensive. Unfortunately, this reality keeps so many amazing future parents from taking the steps to adopt which is unfortunate with so many children in need. There is a page in my adoption packet that makes me shiver every time I glance at it! Even as I type this and think about the upcoming payments, I am getting anxious! This would heavily tax anyone’s resources and I’m certainly not rich.
When I first made the decision to adopt, one of the things that I wrestled over was whether or not I would do any fundraising. In a perfect world, I wouldn’t have to. There are few things more humbling than asking other people for money! It’s uncomfortable. It’s vulnerable. It kinda sucks! However, the more I have thought about it and talked to friends, the more I understand that it isn’t about asking people for money, but asking them to be a part of our story. My baby’s story. The story of how she got to come home.
So I am so excited about this PUZZLE FUNDRAISER! It works like this:
1. I hunted for weeks and finally found a 550 piece puzzle that would be perfect to hang on my baby’s wall. It’s the picture on this post. (I do not know 550 people, so I need friends and family to share this with their friends and family!)
3. To purchase via my Go Fund Me account go to gofundme.com/babyforBethany. If you prefer to send a check, please email me at bss0302@yahoo.com for my mailing address.
4. Once you purchase a piece, I will write your name on the back of one of the puzzle pieces and send you a picture.
5. Once every single piece has been “sold”, I (with the help of my mom who is good at puzzles) will put the puzzle together and hang it in a double-sided glass frame for the baby’s room so that we can always look back and be reminded of who had a “piece” of bringing her home!
I can picture sitting down with my daughter, reading the names to her and explaining that these are all of the wonderful people who loved her before they even knew her. These are the people who brought her home. Isn’t that the cutest?!?! I just love it! I will keep my blog (auntieba.com) updated with progress of the puzzle and a list of amazing donors.
So, my goal with this Puzzle Fundraiser is to sell all 550 pieces which will raise 1/3rd of the money needed for this adoption!!!! How amazing would that be?!?! I’d be honored and humbled to have you be a part of this story. My secondary goal is to sell at least half the puzzle before January 1st. Can you help me accomplish that?
Want to help me bring my baby home!? Go to gofundme.com/babyforBethany. If you wish to make an additional donation above the $25 price of a puzzle piece (first of all, that is awesome! It’s also helpful because Go Fund Me keeps about 8% of all donations), simply put the desired donation amount in the box and proceed to process your payment. The other amazing thing that you could do to help would be to spread this! Share it with your families and friends. Thank you! I love you!
Here’s a picture of what the puzzle will look like when completed. I chose Noah’s ark because one thing it teaches is that we all need friends and life is lived best in community.
I am a never married, very opinionated, Bible-believing attorney. I am “Auntie Ba” to two nephews and two nieces who I love more than life! For almost 2 decades I’ve dreamed of adoption. That dream became stronger when I prosecuted child abuse cases almost a decade ago. So many children need good homes where they are wanted, safe, and know they are loved. Still I waited. I knew it would be best for a baby to be raised by a mommy and daddy. I knew if I married, my man would have to be willing to adopt. However, I’m in my late 30s and still haven’t found a partner for life. I began to consider that over and over the Bible tells us to take care of widows and orphans. The Bible never says, “Wait until you are married to help others – especially orphans.” I make a decent income. I have a modest, but safe home. But I wondered if I was ready to be selfless enough to be a mother.
On September 9, I couldn’t sleep. Looking through my Facebook feed I saw this video of Little Fairy Doors. All of a sudden, for the first time in my life, I had to have this decoration for my daughter. There was a sudden urgency in my heart to find my child and bring her home. I began praying (as I had on and off for years) and weeping. I knew the time was right. Suddenly my heart was overwhelmed with love for a little person I’d never met. She might not even be conceived yet, but I could almost see her face in my mind. She became very real to me and was conceived in my heart on September 9, 2015 at 11pm. I had no doubt I was finally ready to be selfless for this little one. I ordered the fairy door and then emailed a Christian adoption agency I’d learned of at a women’s conference six months earlier. I later remembered that at that conference, I’d felt the Lord ask me if I would trust Him. The truth is I had stopped trusting Him almost eight years earlier when I prosecuted one of the worst child sex abuse cases I ever saw during my career. I felt the Lord say to my heart, “We cannot go further, we cannot reach your destiny, unless you choose to trust Me.” I promised to try.
The day after I ordered the fairy door and emailed the adoption agency, the agency called me…
But that is a story for another post.
Suddenly, I’m trusting God in ways I have not in eight years. I believe that God has a child chosen just for me. Please pray for the birth mom. Pray that she will choose adoption over abortion and pray that she will then choose me to raise her precious child.
P.S. Adoption is expensive. I know God will provide, but the cost of adoption would heavily tax anyone’s resources. I’ll be doing a fundraiser, but if you’d like to make a donation to help bring my baby home, please go to my Go Fund Me account: gofundme.com/babyforBethany
auntie ba 