Faith Walk

To the Church in America:

~ Bethany ~ Leave a comment

2.5 years ago I left my last church because the head pastor decided he wanted to build an empire, secretly hired a church marketing firm and lost his focus on God.  His teaching had always been shallow, but I stayed because I loved the over 55 crowd and usually hung out with them and went to their Sunday school class.  I even was honored to teach one of their small groups for awhile.  The Sunday that I walked in and saw that the pastor had placed a pirate’s treasure chest on the alter with a spot light illuminating it in order to start funding the eternally-worthless things the marketing group was telling him to do in order to build an empire, the Holy Spirit released me.  A lot of people left.

For 2.5 years, I visited churches and grieved over the fact that church in America seems to be little more than a social club or joke.  It’s rarely transformative.  Especially here in the Bible belt people go and play church one or two days a week, but they generally buck against any real accountability or weekday holiness.

A little over a month ago, I visited Northplace church.  The teaching was deeper than I’d found at most churches.  The pastor didn’t seem to shy away from speaking truth.  Then I found out the church had a heart for orphans, foster care kids, and special needs kids.  I knew this was the place for me.  During my second visit, I felt God speak to me about surrendering all and moving forward with foster-to-adopt despite my fear.  He told me that this was not about me.  It was about Him and the kids who will come to me.

So, I chose a Christian agency to work with and in the midst of my paperwork I was asked for a pastoral recommendation.  I called my new church.  I knew there was no way the Pastor could recommend me right now since I’d only been there 5 weeks, so I asked if I could meet with him so he could start to get to know me.  I was told that he travels so much that meeting with him is almost impossible.  That gave me pause.  Pastors are meant to shepherd a flock.  The New Testament shows us that even Paul shepherded various flocks while on the road spreading the gospel.  However, Paul was primarily an evangelist.  He left behind leaders to shepherd the people.  Still Northplace has a heart for foster kids, so I’m not giving up on it yet.  They suggested I call a pastor at my old church.

I couldn’t call the head pastor at my old church because he has nothing to do with those of us who left, so I called the pastor of the senior citizens who I sat under in Sunday School and who sat in several of the small group sessions that I taught.  He too had left our old church and during the first 1.5 years I tried to keep in touch with he and his wife.  The only disagreement we’d ever had was when I said the head pastor at the old church wasn’t following God and the pastor of seniors got mad and said he had seen the head pastor pray and cry out to God.  I thought, “Yep and the Pharisees made sure people saw them pray and cry out too, but Jesus condemned them for having hearts far from God and praying only for show.”  In the interest of peace, I let it go.  Earlier this year, I was forced to cut off contact because his wife had referred a client to me.  Whenever she sends someone to me, she feels she has a right to their privileged information and she has a very bad habit of badgering me for privileged information.  This time, to maintain professional ethical integrity, after she did it once I felt I had no choice but to cut off contact for the duration of the case.  Eight months later, when I called her husband for a pastoral recommendation, I was happy and joyful and assumed he’d say yes.  After all, he’d seen me teach, I’d listened to his teaching, and we’d done life together.  It never occurred to me that his answer would be anything other than yes.  After listening to what I’m doing and why I feel God has lead me this direction, he said that I’d been out of their lives too long for him to be able to do a recommendation that would carry any weight.  I said I understood, but the truth is I was deeply hurt.

Many, many times through the Old and New Testament we are told to take care of orphans and the fatherless.  This is clearly a people group close to the heart of God and as Christians, they should be close to our hearts as well.  I’m not trying to say that I’m super holy for fostering.  The truth is that I’m scared to DEATH.  However, I’m not asking for a recommendation for a 6-figure job.  I’m asking for a recommendation to take a child who’s been abused, abandoned or neglected into my home and give that child safety and love.  Then, if their parents get it together, I will be called to let go of that child regardless of how much it breaks my heart.  There are absolutely no guarantees I’ll ever get to adopt.  I’m terrified of the potential for heartbreak.  However, I know I heard God say that it is not about me.  It’s about Him and being His hands, feet and heart to a child who needs safety and love.  I asked one pastor to get to know me so I could get a recommendation and his handlers said he has no time for such things.  I asked a second pastor who does know me and he refused because I’d had to cut his wife out of my life for the duration of the case she sent to me.

I know that anytime we are about to do something big – something eternally worthwhile – the Enemy will fight against us.  I’ve been struggling with an unholy fear from him since I began to move forward, but what could be more eternally worthwhile than giving a child a safe and loving home – either temporarily or permanently?  Now I understand that as I follow Jesus through the fear, the Enemy will attack in other ways.  Now I see that the Enemy will even use other Christians to try to block an eternally good and God-ordained work.  It’s interesting to me that the Church has been my biggest roadblock in trying to fulfill God’s command to take care of orphans.  When I looked at private adoption, I found that:  1. Christian non-profit agencies tend to be among the most expensive agencies, 2. most grants are given out by churches and Christian groups and 3. I was ineligible for most of them because I am unmarried.  When I looked at embryo adoption, I knew the kind of condemnation I’d get from Christians and how much and how often I’d have to explain the situation and why I was unmarried and pregnant.  That didn’t stop me.  I was simply aware of it.  Now trying to foster-to-adopt, which means I’m a foster parent unless or until a child in my care becomes free for me to adopt, the lack of a pastoral recommendation could stand in my way of using a Christian agency to accomplish what the Bible clearly commands.

Morale of the story (and I’m saying this to myself first and foremost):

Christians, make sure you are standing with God!  For example:  When a person who loves Jesus is willing provide a safe and loving home for a needy child in accordance with Biblical commands and you choose to stand in the way by withholding something you could easily give, then ask yourself whether you are on God’s side or are being used by Satan.

acts 5-39

UPDATE:  The agency said that they have a lot of families who cannot get pastoral recommendations because pastors are so uninvolved with their flocks in big churches and/or the families have started going to new churches, so it shouldn’t be a problem after all!  (Yet people would probably be shocked that I still think church in America is a joke.)

Informational Meeting

~ Bethany ~ Leave a comment

Last night I went the Foster-to-Adopt Informational Meeting.  That’s step one.  I knew most of the information from my days as a child abuse prosecutor.  However, I realized two things.

First, I’m going to have to let go of some of my contempt for CPS which is ingrained and years in the making.  I dealt with CPS as a child abuse prosecutor and as a defense attorney.  I’ve seen them make a lot of really bad calls like leaving kids with parents I later proved beyond a reasonable doubt were raping the kids.  However, I have to understand that there are good social workers and bad one.  There are ones who care and others who are just doing enough to collect a paycheck.  I have to understand that even the good ones are human and we all make mistakes.  I have to let people be human.

Second, I’m going to have to rely a lot on Jesus to do this.  There are three options in a program like this:  foster, foster-to-adopt, and matched adoption.  Foster is where you provide temporary safe housing that can last days, weeks, months or years and then give the child back.  Some people prefer to be foster parents and do not want to adopt.  Foster-to-adopt means that you are willing to adopt that foster child if the parents rights need to be terminated and the child becomes free for adoption.  Matched adoption means they match you with a child (usually a teenager) and you find out everything they know about the child and commit to adopt that child before you ever meet the child.  You generally cannot match adopt with a younger child because foster families get first priority in adopting them and are likely foster-to-adopt parents.  Matched adoption is for kids who were with foster parents who are unwilling to adopt.  Of these three options, foster-to-adopt still fits me best, though the fit is not perfect.  While some people get miracles and have their first placement become their forever child, generally you will be a temporary safe place for several children before one ends up free to become yours.  I just kept praying through the meeting:  “Lord, I will need your help in this.  I’m not sure I can risk my heart this much.”  Yet the alternative is to leave these kids without a safe place because there is a huge deficit in foster homes.  I can’t do that either.

Yet, the more they told us about these kids and the shortage of safe homes, the more I felt that this is absolutely the trench warfare in which I’m meant to be and in which Jesus will definitely meet anyone who enters.

This year, there are 6600 kids free for adoption in Texas alone.  There are 1100 free for adoption in DFW alone.  There are almost 4000 kids in foster care in DFW alone.  In Texas:  Houston has the most kids who need help, San Antonio has the second most, Dallas ranks third and ElPaso is fourth.  Almost fifty percent of kids needing help are Hispanic.  Despite the rumors and old wives tells, these kids are not innately bad.  Most of these kids are not physically or mentally handicapped.  These kids are worth saving.  These kids need parents who are responsible and safe.  The State foster care motto is:

“Children Never Outgrow The Need For Parents”

It will take 3-6 months to get licensed and placement can happen anytime after that.

The ladies kept stressing that it is about the kids – not us.  (Same thing I felt the Spirit tell me at church 9 days ago.)  They said they find homes for kids – not kids for homes.  They said that kids love their parents unconditionally and always want to go back to momma.  I’ve seen that with in the victims I’ve worked with.  If that’s possible, then it is best for the child to go home once momma gets her crap together.  I heard the Spirit whisper to me:  “That is love.  Loving the children unconditionally and hoping that their parents do right so that you can let the children go back.  That is love.”  My unholy response was that that is simply too much to ask and I’m pretty sure I cannot love that much.  Then I started praying for God to help me love that much.  I literally prayed throughout the meeting.

They stressed the need to have a support system around you.  No one can do this alone.

Over and over the Bible tells us how to treat orphans.  Even though these children have parents, when they come into foster care the parents are unfit enough that they might as well have no parents.  If the parents’ are unwilling or unable to improve, then their rights are terminated making the children orphans.  At least 41 times, orphans are mentioned in the Bible and we are commanded over and over again to help them.  I’d like to say that no matter the cost, I’m ready.  Instead, I’ll be honest and say:  I’m excited.  I feel called.  I also feel scared.

Father God, help me to be your hands, feet and heart in these lives of the child/children you will send to me.  Help my family to love them and accept them and comfort my family if/when we are called to let them go.

“Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.” – Isaiah 1:17

orphans-st-matthew

My Nephew and the Widow

~ Bethany ~ 1 Comment

My 6 year old nephew made the Bible come alive for me this week.  I spent the last week in Colorado helping my sister and her husband with their children since she delivered their fourth and final child six weeks ago.  On the last day of my trip, just hours before heading to the airport to leave, I was cuddling the baby when my sister disappeared down the hall.  I didn’t think much of her disappearance as we are commonly tending to different children throughout the day.

My sister and brother-in-law are teaching my nephews and nieces how to budget money. The 6 year old has four jars labeled “save”, “spend”, “give” and “invest.”  The 3 year old has a bank too, but isn’t old enough yet to understand budgeting.  The 20 month old doesn’t understand anything about money yet.  The 6 year old boy is really into all this high finance since he just learned the power of saving money to buy bigger toys.

As I was snuggling with the baby, the two oldest children came running to me and each one thrust a dollar into my hand.  I asked what was going on, but without answering and without prompting, the 6 year old muttered to himself something about it not being enough and reached back into his “give” jar and stuffed $3 more dollars into my hand.  I began to protest because I didn’t know what was happening.  My sister motioned for me to stop as the 6 year old, talking to himself, reached into his “give” jar a third time and emptied it ($10 total) into my hand. My sister then told them to explain.  The 6 year old looked sweetly into my eyes said, “We want to help you adopt a baby!”  I fell completely apart.  I croaked out a thank you and then had to sit on the coffee table before my knees buckled.  I thanked him a few more times and assured him that my tears were happy tears.  Never has $11 ever meant so much.

Toby's money

After they went off to play, my sister told me that she’d explained adoption to them and told them that Auntie Ba felt called to adopt a child.  She’d then given them the option to donate nothing or something.  It was completely their choice and they both immediately asked for their banks.

My sister’s show of support meant so much.  Until that moment, I wasn’t sure she was in favor of my decision.  While I don’t need anyone’s approval (other than the birth mom), I desperately wanted my sister’s support.  She graciously gave me both support and encouragement when she gave my nephews the opportunity to invest in my calling and my future child’s future.

On the plane ride home, I started to think of the Biblical story of the Widow With Two Mites.  It can be found in Mark 12 or Luke 21.  Jesus was watching people give their offerings at the Temple.  The rich gave large gifts.  Then Jesus saw a widow put two tiny copper coins into the receptacle.  Jesus said that the widow had given more than the rich because while the rich gave from their abundance, the widow had given all she had.  Though it would be used by humans, her offering was a show of faith in God and love for God.

Like the widow, my nephew gave all he had in his “give” jar.  He didn’t have to do that.  He could have held back some or all, but he didn’t.  My sister offered to supplement his gift for an entire puzzle piece, but it wasn’t necessary.  Originally, the puzzle pieces in my fundraiser were $25 a piece, but a few weeks ago I’d felt the Lord ask me to walk by faith and let there be no minimum gift required so that people who wanted to participate could participate no matter what they were able to give.  In spite of that, my sister gave more for the boys and then asked if she could give a little more so the littlest two could also have a puzzle piece.  I offered to give the girls a puzzle piece without another gift, but my sister insisted.

They bathed me in unspeakable love and encouraged me greatly in my calling.

Here are their pieces. Their names are written on the back. The bird with bright green is the puzzle piece the 6 year old requested. His name is on it.
Here are their pieces. Their names are written on the back. The bird with bright green is the puzzle piece the 6 year old requested. His name is on it.

Like the widow, both of my nephews gave with a joyful heart.  It gave them obvious joy to give to help another child who they won’t meet for at least a year and to help their Auntie Ba fulfill her God-given calling to adopt.

Like the widow, I am certain that as much as it touched my heart, my nephews’ offerings pleased God’s heart more than we can even imagine.  While I will be the one using the offerings, they were giving their offerings to God for Him to use to benefit a child who we’ve not met yet but who He already knows intimately.  I could imagine God smiling down on my sister and brother-in-law for teaching their children to love Him and others in such a sacrificial way at such a very young age.

I’m very proud of all of them.

If you’d like, you can participate here: gofundme.com/babyforBethany

puzzle piece

Outside Looking In

~ Bethany ~ Leave a comment

I’m beginning to understand why the church is such a joke to an unbelieving world.  When I say “church” I’m not talking about buildings.  I’m talking about those who believe that Jesus is the way, the truth and the life.  I’m the church and, if you believe in Jesus, you’re the church too.

My adoption agency is a Christian agency that will work with single adoptive parents.  As I researched other agencies, I found that quite a lot of Christian agencies will not allow single Christians to adopt.  My adoption agency told me there were grants available to help with some of the cost of adoption.  Most of these grants are administered through Christian foundations.  So far I’m not eligible for the majority of them because I’m single.  Finally, I expected people to be excited and supportive.  The vast majority are which may be why the few who have been judgmental have shocked me.  Those few are all churchy folks.

This troubles me for at least 2 reasons.  Becoming a parent is exciting, but it is also scary whether you are married or single.  I believe an in-tact mommy and daddy is the best way to raise a child.  However, divorce is common in America and many homes inside the church are not in-tact.  Secondly, there are 153 million children worldwide needing homes and many couples are unable or unwilling to adopt.  If a single Christian woman who makes a good living and can provide a safe, loving and stable home is willing to love and raise an unwanted child, who are we – especially within the church – to stand in the way?  Imagine feeling the normal fears about becoming a parent and then having your fellow Christians and Christian agencies and foundations imply that you’re unfit to parent just because you’re single.

Want to know why I’m still single?

I really didn’t even think about marriage until after I’d completed high school, college, and law school and got my career on its feet.  Only then did I think marriage might be fun.  Only then did I (and other successful and smart female lawyers who I know) realize that being a lawyer would scare a significant amount of men away.  I’m also single because by the time I got around to thinking marriage might be fun, all the great men were already married.  I’m not interested in psychopaths or metrosexuals.  There are some good divorcees out there, but unfortunately most of them had a bad marriage and now never want to be married again.  Since I won’t settle for co-habitation, these relationships are pointless dead ends no matter how wonderful the divorcee is.

I wish the Christian agencies and foundations and those few judgmental Christians would recognize that even though I’m single, I’m a very desirable candidate to adopt a child!  First, my child, unlike too many kids both inside and outside the church, will likely never be subjected to divorce.  Second, unlike some two parent homes, I am extremely fortunate because while she’s little I can work only 30 hours a week Monday through Thursday and make enough to pay my bills, buy the child what she needs and save for her college and my retirement.  Third, I’m not a teacher, but family law slows down during July, August and the holidays, so I can take significant chunks of time off during those times to be with her.  Fourth, the baby’s Nana (my mom) will live with us, so baby will never need daycare and will benefit from a multi-generational home.  Even though I’m single, I’m luckier in some ways than some other single moms and can provide in a few ways that they aren’t fortunate enough to get to do.

Unfortunately many Christian grant foundations will never know all of this because I’m not even allowed to apply for their grants because I never married.

I’m the first one to say that, as Christians, we need to be willing to tell the truth about the Gospel and to confront sin.  For any non-Christians reading this, here’s what sin is…  God is perfect.  We are not.  When we violate His rules there are eternal consequences just like a good parent would give.  Because He’s the perfect parent, he sent Jesus (who followed every rule) to take all the punishment for every rule any of us ever broke.  All He asks now is that we believe Jesus’s punishment was enough and have a relationship with Him.  Sin is the breaking of one of God’s rules.  One of the rules in the Bible is to take care of widows and orphans.  God says that several times.  Adopting a child as a single person is not sin.  In fact, it could be seen as a form of obedience to one of the rules close to God’s heart.

After I began encountering opposition from churchy folk, I tried to imagine what Jesus would say if He was sitting with me and I told Him I was adopting even though I’m not married.  I don’t have a fancy Bible degree and I’m no theologian.  I just love Jesus and have read the Bible.  I believe if He was in front of me and I told Him, His eyes might tear up a bit and He would probably tell me He was proud of me for being His hands and feet in this way.

Church, when we make up sins that aren’t in the Bible and chose to judge that which God would applaud, we make ourselves a joke to an unbelieving world.  Let’s get off our high horses.  Let’s get to know the Bible well.  Let’s stop calling unclean what God would call clean.  Let us clean up our own sins of sloth, gluttony, idolatry (aka addiction and obsession), sexual impurity and whatever else we are hiding.  Let’s love people by serving them.  Let’s love people by telling the truth about sin and the Gospel.  Let’s be authentic about who we are.  And let us not forget to care for widows and orphans.

finds unbelievable

If you’d like to help with the cost of my adoption, please read about The Puzzle Piece Fundraiser and/or the “It Takes a Village” T-shirt Fundraiser.  T-shirts are only available until 10/25.  Also, you can also go straight to my Go Fund Me Account.

Lancing the Boil in My Brain

~ Bethany ~ 2 Comments

About 27 years ago, I was standing in a foyer of our church with other children and we were asking a man what our names meant.  I listened as he proudly pronounced their meaning – almost as a blessing – over each child who asked for the meaning of their name.  I don’t remember the man well.  I couldn’t tell you who he was.  His face is blank in my mind.  I just remember that he was tall and he seemed to like the attention as parents stood listening at the edge of this throng of children.  Eventually, after hearing positive words spoken over several other children, I asked for the meaning of my name.  The man asked my name.  I told him.  Though I cannot remember his face, I’ve never forgotten how his face dropped and he simply said, “It’s a Hebrew name.”  He went on to other children, but naturally the future lawyer in me could not let it drop.

I asked, “But what does it mean?”

I remember his eyes filled with dread when he said, “It’s a city in the Bible.”  He turned again to move on to other children.

“But what does it mean?”  I asked again, this time a little more soberly.  I saw both of my parents begin to inch forward to intervene.  They too had seen the man’s face change when he spoke to me.  My mother’s mouth opened, but before she could speak, the man answered me.

“Do you really want to know?” he asked.

I knew that it was going to be bad, but still I said, “Yes.”

“Your name means House of Poverty.”

I felt like I’d been punched.  My jaw dropped.  He turned away and smiling began to answer the other children.  A big green-tinted pus-filled boil began to grow in the center of my brain and a weight hung around my neck.

My mom culled me out of the crowd and whispered, “That’s not what it means.”

I was stunned.  Numb.  I heard my father call for my sister – my sister who’s first name means “love” and who’s middle name means “favored” and I was House of Poverty.

My father herded us all out to the car as my mom kept assuring me that the man was wrong.  I knew she would say that because she was a mom and moms are supposed to make bad things be… well, un-bad.

I spun it over and over in my mind.  My broken and numbed heart tasted the words.  My young heart accepted it.  I was “House of Poverty.”  That was all I’d ever be.

Unbeknownst to me, my mother had begun asking others familiar with the Hebrew language what my name meant.  Days later she came to me excited.  She proudly said, “Your name is NOT House of Poverty.  That was just a stupid man.  Your name means House of Bread.”

That wasn’t much better.  Bread is bland.  It is the most basic of food.  They serve nothing but bread and water in jail in the movies.  Bread was likely just a nicer name for Poverty.  No, there was no evidence suggesting the first man was wrong.

So, for the last 27 years I’ve gone around with the name House of Poverty.  Whenever I’d have a financial setback, I’d think, “Well, it’s only natural.  After all I am House of Poverty.”  When I took out student loans, I’d think, “I doesn’t matter.  I’ll never be debt free because I am House of Poverty.”  When I’d go through a break up, I’d think, “Well, Poverty doesn’t have to be just financial.”  When I decided to pursue adoption and then found out it would cost $38,000.00, I dropped my 20-year dream for 24 hours because I am House of Poverty.

When I learned I would be adopting a newborn, I was shocked.  I always assumed that as a single woman I’d get a toddler.  I was even more shocked when my mom asked what I’d name her.  It never occurred to me I’d get to name a child.  I figured a toddler would already have a name.  So, I’ve been researching the meanings of various names.  I even researched the names of everyone in my family – except mine.  I already knew that I am House of Poverty.

Through the years, several times I’ve asked the Lord to break the curse of my name.  I never felt like He answered those prayers.  Last night, the weight of House of Poverty finally became too much and I began to research my name.  The first website simply said it was the Hebrew name of a city in the New Testament.  It offered no meaning at all.  The second website gave the original Hebrew words that linguists and etymologists believe Bethany derives from.  Those original words mean House of Figs.  The weight of Poverty began to lift.  Figs are sweet, exotic, expensive, a treat.  They are found in houses of plenty – not houses of poverty.  The evidence for this meaning seemed sound and with relief, I started to accept it.  I looked at a few more websites.  Most said House of Figs, but one (without any sound research) said Daughter of the Lord.

I stopped.  I knew there was no evidence for this meaning and yet…

And yet that is who I am when you strip away all other labels and all other names.

I am Daughter of the Lord.

And so are you.  We are all daughters and sons of the living God whether we choose to accept Him or not.

I am Daughter of the Lord.

At the first of this year, instead of making New Years Resolutions, I prayerfully chose one word that would define the year.  I thought it would be love so I could work on loving people better.  After three weeks of prayerful consideration, I felt lead to the word IDENTITY.  I was confused at first, but everything this year has pointed to regaining and reclaiming my identity.  Identity is the foundation of everything we say and do.  This part of the reclamation process was imperative.  I am NOT House of Poverty.  I am not even House of Figs.

I am Daughter of the Lord.

I wish I could see the name man again now.  He created a boil – a pocket of infection – in my brain when I was 12 years old.  Last night, truth lanced that boil.  If I ever saw the naming man again, I’d tell him what his words had done.  I’d ask him why he wasn’t smart enough to just say, “I don’t know.”  I’d ask if that one afternoon of fame had been worth my 27 years of living with a pus-filled boil in my brain.  Then, I’d punch him square in the nose and standing over him I’d shout:

“My name is Daughter of the Lord, you moron!”

Identity-in-Christ

I have decided…

~ Bethany ~ 2 Comments

People keep asking how I came up with the Puzzle Piece Fundraiser.  Well, I totally stole the idea from other adoptive parents who used it to raise 1/3rd of the cost of adoption.  There’s nothing original about it.

Last February, I went to a women’s conference at a church in Georgetown.  I went because Christine Caine was speaking and I dig her.  I think God put it on my heart to go because it was there that I met the founders of my adoption agency.  I knew that agency would be the one I used when the time came.  During that conference, my Savior whispered to my heart, “Will you choose to trust me?”  I had stopped trusting him 8 years earlier when I prosecuted the most horrendous child sexual abuse case of my career.  How could I trust a God that would allow that to happen?  Now, 8 years later in Feb 2015, He was asking if I would choose to trust Him again.  I wasn’t yet planning to start the adoption process this year at the time.  I told Him I would do my best.  Turns out, that’s all He asks of any of us.

Fast forward and 6 months later, I began pursuing adoption in earnest.  It surprised even me when this journey became real rather than a silent wish.  I felt it was time.  I felt like even God was telling me it was time.  I felt like He was ready to bless me with a child.  So, I signed up with the agency and started the fundraiser.  My home study is next month.

The last few days I’ve begun to realize that on this road towards adoption and then on the road of parenthood, I’m going to have to let go of my perfectionism, my plans, and my control.  This is in God’s hands alone.  I can do my part, but in the end the failure or success of this journey rests on Him alone.  Part of this journey of trust is letting go of the minimum donation for a puzzle piece.  See, $25 per piece minus the 8% Go Fund Me keeps would equal 1/3rd of the cost of adoption.  I’m a planner and I did that because I’m hoping to win another 1/3rd in grants and pay the last 1/3rd myself.  But I’m letting go…

You may donate any amount you want and become part of our puzzle and our story.  Your encouragement and prayers already make you a part of our story and your name deserves to be on our wall.  If you have an extra $10 laying around and you want to donate it, do it and you will get a puzzle piece.  If next week you have $5 more laying around and you want another piece, you got it!  If you want to donate more than $25 at one time, you will still get more than one piece!  It’ll go like this:  $1-$25 = 1 piece, $26-$50 = 2 pieces, $51-$75 = 3 pieces, and so on…

This way, you don’t feel pressured to give a certain amount.  It won’t adversely impact your budget because any amount receives a place on our wall and in our hearts.  You can give as many times as you want and as little or as much as you want.  I’m just going to trust Jesus to move the right hearts at the right time.  It’s out of my control and it’s in His hands.  Besides, if the fundraiser raises 1/8th of the cost instead of 1/3rd, then we still will have made a major accomplishment together!  What’s most important to me is that anyone who wants to participate, gets to participate and that my baby’s wall is filled with names full of love.

I’ve decided to trust Jesus.

www.gofundme.com/babyforBethany

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