I’m getting a newborn?!?!

After I purchased the little fairy door for the daughter I didn’t have yet and after I emailed the adoption agency on Sept 9, 2015, I went to sleep.  It was almost midnight.

Normally I don't go for silly fantasy things like this, but it's so cute!  It gobsmacked me!
Little Fairy Door with Little Fairy Footprints. Normally I don’t go for silly fantasy things like this, but it’s so cute! It gobsmacked me!

At 9:15am on Sept 10, the agency called me.  I was so excited!  I chose a smaller Christian agency that has been in business for 25 years.  The founders have six adopted children and call their family a bag of Skittles because they are from all over the world and of many different ethnicities.  It was the husband who called me that morning.  I told him I couldn’t talk long because I was on my way to Court.  He told me to call him after Court so that we could figure out which program would best fit me.  They have programs around the world and domestically.

I should pause here to tell  you that I’d had my heart set on a toddler from a 3rd world nation for as long as I could remember.  The only thing I cared about was that she be a girl because as much as I love little boys, I do not have a husband.  I know I can teach a girl how to be a woman.  I feel that whenever possible, a little boy needs a man in the home to emulate.  So with the image of a 3rd world toddler in my mind…

I said, “I don’t care where my baby comes from.  I just want her to come home asap!”

Cautiously he asked, “Do you care about ethnicity?”

I said, “No.  I know an adopted child will not look like me.  I don’t care about ethnicity because she will be mine no matter what shade her skin, eyes and hair are.”

He said, “I think you’d be perfect for our domestic cross-cultural program.  There’s a lot less paperwork and a lot less travel.”

I was a bit surprised because I assumed my child would be from a 3rd world nation.

He continued, “We work with birth moms who live in abject poverty and cannot afford to feed another mouth.  We also work with birth families who have already had multiple CPS interventions.”

Now he was speaking my language.

I asked if domestic adoption was more expensive than international.  He said international has become just as expensive as domestic.

I said, “I open to any program.  I’d like a girl.  Also, I want a child 3 years old or under because they are still cuddly.”

He said, “You can choose a girl in any program.  However, you will get a newborn in the domestic program.”

I almost fell down.  A newborn?  But they don’t sleep at night!!!  Additionally, I never thought I’d be eligible to get a newborn as a single woman.  I was silent for a long time.  This was my first adoption-related panic attack.  When I finally spoke it was in stutters that made no sense and he laughed.  I told him I needed time to think and he said he thought I would be excited when the shock wore off.

He was right!  I’ve already found a crib and am reading all about the first year of life.

The next shock and panic came when I saw the sheet that listed all the fees.  That’s why I’m doing a Puzzle Piece fundraiser that I wrote about on 9/20 (click here to read all about it).

gofundme.com/babyforBethany

The Conception of a Dream

I am a never married, very opinionated, Bible-believing attorney.  I am “Auntie Ba” to two nephews and two nieces who I love more than life!  For almost 2 decades I’ve dreamed of adoption.  That dream became stronger when I prosecuted child abuse cases almost a decade ago.  So many children need good homes where they are wanted, safe, and know they are loved.  Still I waited.  I knew it would be best for a baby to be raised by a mommy and daddy.  I knew if I married, my man would have to be willing to adopt.  However, I’m in my late 30s and still haven’t found a partner for life.   I began to consider that over and over the Bible tells us to take care of widows and orphans.  The Bible never says, “Wait until you are married to help others – especially orphans.”  I make a decent income.  I have a modest, but safe home.  But I wondered if I was ready to be selfless enough to be a mother.

On September 9, I couldn’t sleep.  Looking through my Facebook feed I saw this video of Little Fairy Doors.  All of a sudden, for the first time in my life, I had to have this decoration for my daughter.  There was a sudden urgency in my heart to find my child and bring her home.  I began praying (as I had on and off for years) and weeping.  I knew the time was right.  Suddenly my heart was overwhelmed with love for a little person I’d never met.  She might not even be conceived yet, but I could almost see her face in my mind.  She became very real to me and was conceived in my heart on September 9, 2015 at 11pm.  I had no doubt I was finally ready to be selfless for this little one.  I ordered the fairy door and then emailed a Christian adoption agency I’d learned of at a women’s conference six months earlier.  I later remembered that at that conference, I’d felt the Lord ask me if I would trust Him.  The truth is I had stopped trusting Him almost eight years earlier when I prosecuted one of the worst child sex abuse cases I ever saw during my career.  I felt the Lord say to my heart, “We cannot go further, we cannot reach your destiny, unless you choose to trust Me.”  I promised to try.

The day after I ordered the fairy door and emailed the adoption agency, the agency called me…

But that is a story for another post.

Suddenly, I’m trusting God in ways I have not in eight years.  I believe that God has a child chosen just for me.  Please pray for the birth mom.  Pray that she will choose adoption over abortion and pray that she will then choose me to raise her precious child.

P.S. Adoption is expensive.  I know God will provide, but the cost of adoption would heavily tax anyone’s resources.  I’ll be doing a fundraiser, but if you’d like to make a donation to help bring my baby home, please go to my Go Fund Me account:  gofundme.com/babyforBethany