(Disclaimer:  I’m an attorney, but nothing in this blog should be construed as legal advice.  I’m simply sharing what I’m learning on my journey. This is just what I’ve learned about TX.)

According to a 2013 article from Huffington Post, there are 153 million orphans in the world.  Many people are open to adoption and are desperate for a child, so why are there so many orphans?  I think it’s the expense.  I almost gave up on my dream as soon I heard how expensive it would be because I knew that even as an attorney I alone could never afford it.  Luckily, I learned about the puzzle piece fundraiser and the fact that there are grants available to help with part of the cost.  Personally, my goal is to raise 1/3rd with the fundraiser, hopefully win enough grants to cover 1/3rd, and pay 1/3rd myself.  It will still be a struggle, but not so out of reach.

There are less expensive ways to adopt than a traditional agency, but as cost goes down, risk goes up.  Here are 4 ways to adopt:

First, there is the traditional agency.  When birth mom signs her rights to the child over to the agency a few days after the birth, the decision is irrevocable.  This is a comfort for an adoptive parent.  The agency helps get your profile to birth mothers for their consideration.  This is helpful.  The agency insulates the adoptive parent from birth mom’s emotional roller coaster.  This is valuable as the adoptive parent is probably on a roller coaster of their own.  The agency funnels adoptive parents’ money to birth mom by paying her rent, cell phone and sundries.  (Most birth mom’s are on medicaid, so there are no medical expenses to pay.)  The agency makes sure birth mom gets counseling before and after the birth and funnels adoptive parent’s money to pay for counseling.  Absolutely priceless!  An agency adoption will cost a total of $35k-50k depending on if you are doing a domestic or international adoption and which agency you choose.  $20k-25k goes directly to the agency for their services.  Adoptive parents pay all expenses for birth mom, home studies, attorney fees, travel expenses, creating profile books, etc. in addition to the agency’s fee.  I called a few non-profit agencies and they were several thousand dollars more expensive than for-profit agencies.  (???)

Second, there is private or independent adoption where adoptive mom finds birth mom and they just use an attorney.  Adoptive mom can legally only pay medical expenses of birth mom this way.  If birth mom is on Medicaid, then birth mom legally could not get any assistance from the adoptive parent.  Birth mom would also get very little counseling.  Depending on the facts of the case, birth mom could change her mind up to 60 days after the birth.  YIKES!!!  Way too risky – especially without proper counseling before and after the birth!  This method costs $15k or less depending on whether or not there are medical expenses for birth mom, but all in all, this approach doesn’t really benefit birth mom and is a little too risky for this adoptive mom.

Third, foster-to-adopt is almost free, but extremely risky.  This way allows you to spend months in training to get the State to authorize you to foster and/or adopt a child.  The agency advocates for you with CPS to get the right child placed with you after CPS has removed them from their birth homes for abuse or neglect.  Many of these children are healthy, but many have attachment disorders or other emotional or physical ailments due to the abuse and neglect they’ve suffered.  These are children for whom CPS expects to terminate parental rights, but there is no guarantee because the goal of CPS is always reunification.  It could take a year or more for CPS to decide to terminate and actually accomplish it.  You may even have to make the child available for weekly visits with birth mom.  During that time you could have to give the child back if reunification occurs.  If a suitable relative is found who is willing to adopt, you could have to give up the child.  It also invites quite a bit of government involvement in your life.  While it is something I might consider later in life, right now I want a baby that I definitely get to keep.

Finally, there’s a middle ground between traditional agencies and just using a lawyer.  There are agencies that are called “designated agencies.”  Adoptive parent finds a birth mom on their own and then involves the designated agency.  The agency will then make sure birth mom gets all the counseling and financial benefits she needs.  The agency insulates adoptive mom from birth mom’s emotional rollercoaster and acts just as a traditional agency would.  Once birth mom signs the baby over to the agency, it is irrevocable.  One of the great benefits is that the agency fee is reduced by about $8k-12k!  This brings the total cost of a domestic adoption down to about $25k-30k.

I’m willing to do either agency route.  Many agencies offer both services.  To save money on the agency fee, I would need to find a birth mom.  Please spread the word that I am looking for a birth mom who wishes to pursue adoption.  If you know a birth mom who is making the difficult decision to place her child for adoption, please have her contact me at bss0302@yahoo.com